Let’s be real honest, getting into your mom funk was easy. But how do I get out of a mom funk, is probably the more challenging question.
Motherhood is a challenging and unique job for each of us. We each have unique demands, spouses, children, jobs and hobbies. However, the thing we do have in common is, mom life is hard. Don’t worry, you aren’t alone.
In the last few years, I struggled with digging myself out of a thick fog of depression and anxiety. My depression and anxiety, at the time, felt like a very comfortable and cozy blanket in which to wrap myself. I don’t kid myself, I was well aware of the ocean I was drowning myself in. It can be easy to remain in the comfort of depression and anxiety, when attempting to pull yourself out of it is more uncomfortable.
But I made it. I’m here, bushy tailed and smiling. The sea did not swallow me whole. I actually emerged from it a new and better version of myself. It was a storm made of tensions which allowed for growth.
Unfortunately, many of you are still drowning. You are in a season weighing you down. That is okay. You can get out of it, you just gotta be gentle with yourself. You got this.
5 Tips to Get Out of a Mom Funk
So how did I get out of mine? How did I escape the clutches of the dreaded mom funk?
1) I moved my body.
No, I didn’t just start going to the gym because the gym made my anxiety worse. Instead, I went for afternoon walks with my son and husband. Not often, and not always. But sometimes. Eventually, those walks led me to pick up some weights at home. As I became more confident, I did return to the gym but it took months to build up too it.
Just remember, exercise whether intense as CrossFit or as gentle as an evening walk is medicine for our mind and body. We receive a dose of happy endorphins when we exercise that provide a boost to our mood. This starts the beginning of a happy cycle. We need to feel good to start making smaller steps in other parts of our lives.
2) I meditated.
Seriously, that is woo-woo to some but I needed all the help I could get. However, I found that meditating helped me manage my anxiety which in turned helped me sleep better. Better sleep at night results in a happier mom.
Meditation is beneficial for so many things such as reducing stress, helping with stress and helping us feel grounded. Studies have found that people who meditate are often happier than those who don’t. And who doesn’t want to be happier?
3) I gave up the booze.
Yup, I stopped drinking. I was stressed and anxious so I drank which made me more stressed and anxious. Thus, the cycle repeated itself over and over. I’d have a few good days then drink and the awful cycle would start over.
I don’t have a timeline of when I’ll drink again. I’m actually very committed to sobriety. The further I get away from drinking, the more I realize it wasn’t serving me. It was a huge blockade in becoming more authentically myself.
Simple fact, alcohol is a depressant. If you are feeling low, this might be a huge contributing factor. We reach for alcohol when we are stressed which then makes us feel like crap the next day, adding stress the following day before it’s even begun.
4) I bought clothes that fit.
For a while, I denied the fact that I actually GAINED 10 lbs postpartum. Actually, thanks to Instagram, I found out I’m not the only one. Postpartum weight gain is common because of the many stressors of new motherhood. On Black Friday last year, I sucked it up and bought bigger pants and bras and shirts. All of it. While, I didn’t replace my whole wardrobe, having more clothing items that fit made it easier and less stressful to get dressed each day.
So seriously mama, do yourself a favor and get some jeans that fit. Buying yourself clothes tells your brain you are valuable. It also boosts how you feel in your own skin.
5) I focused on small steps.
At the beginning of my long journey out of mom-funk-town, I made all these big goals like lose 10 lbs and go to the gym 5 days a week. Guess what? I never accomplished any of those goals and it just made me feel shittier. And then, I’d crawl back into my depression and anxiety filled blanket and stay there awhile.
It took me a while but I realized, I’d have to give up on losing the weight. At least for now. Instead, I’d spent on energy on setting a tiny goal for the next day like take a shower, go for a walk or meditate. It was and is easier to reach those small goals. After a week, I’d find I would hit most of my little goals for each day. That meant by the end of the week, I had gone for a walk four times and meditated three times. I was seeing progress, slow but true progress.
It is simple, small goals are more manageable. Drop the big goals, they add too much stress and we experience negative emotions (i.e. guilt) when we don’t reach them. Negative emotions are not serving us to feel more in alignment and whole. Negative emotions are not helping you get out of your mom funk.
Finally, If you need more help, ask for help. Talk to your doctor, therapist, your friend, your spouse. It is okay to not be okay but don’t be afraid to reach out.